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Funny Best Friend Quotes

September 5th, 2008

This week’s batch of 40 quotes is about friendship, which seems to be a fairly popular topic according to my latest research. For many of these sayings I could not find attributions attached to them; however, for those that did have verifiable authors, I have placed their names in parentheses after the text of the quote. If you happen to know the original authors for any of the currently unattributed quotes, please mention these in the comment section and I will edit the post to include them.

Meanwhile, you might also want to check out Friends to the End, which is often cited as one of the most inspirational sources of “best friends forever” material.

  • A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.
  • We must hang together, or surely we shall hang separately. (Benjamin Franklin)
  • A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
  • My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me. (Henry Ford)
  • One’s best friend is oneself.
  • Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. (Mark Twain)
  • A true friend is one who thinks you are a good egg even if you are half cracked. (Bernard Meltzer)
  • A friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself. (Jim Morrison)
  • An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body. (Jim Hayes)
  • There are big ships and small ships. But the best ship of all is friendship.

  • Love is blind. Friendship tries not to notice.
  • A best friend can tell you things you don’t want to tell yourself.
  • You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job. (Laurence J. Peter)
  • Lots of your friends want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. (Oprah Winfrey)
  • A best friend is somebody who knows every last thing about you, yet still manages to like you anyway.
  • Friends can be said to “fall in like” with as profound a thud as romantic partners fall in love. (Letty Cottin Pogrebin)
  • Best friends are like thighs — they are always sticking together.
  • The best mirror in the world is an old friend.
  • Friendship is like money — easier made than kept.
  • True friends are very difficult to find, hard to leave, and impossible to forget.
  • One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
  • In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends. (John Churton Collins)
  • Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it.
  • True friendship is like sound health — the value of it is seldom known until it is lost.
  • My best friend is the someone who brings out the best of me.
  • Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer. (Ed Cunningham)
  • My best friend is the man who in wishing me well wishes it for my sake. (Aristotle)
  • Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. (Eleanor Roosevelt)
  • The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re okay, then it’s you. (Rita Mae Brown)
  • Don’t believe your friends when they ask you to be honest with them. All they really want is to be maintained in the good opinion they have of themselves. (Albert Camus)
  • The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart. (Katharine Mansfield)
  • Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…it has no survival value. Rather, it is one of those things that gives value to survival. (C.S. Lewis)
  • Friends are the bacon bits in the salad bowl of life.
  • Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don’t say.
  • A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world. (Lois Wyse)
  • Family is what makes you crazy, friends are what make you sane. (from the movie Dream Lover)
  • A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your successes.
  • A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself, to keep his friends in countenance. (Benjamin Franklin)
  • A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling. (Arthur Brisbane)
  • Good friends are like stars — you don’t always see them, but you know they are always there.

Helpful Resources:

Funny Quotes About Best Friends and More

Best Friends Forever by Jennifer Weiner

36 Responses to “Funny Best Friend Quotes”

  1. comment number 1 by: Roger

    I love 35 the most. No friend = no future = no connection = no life.

  2. comment number 2 by: Friendship Ecard

    Really a great collection of friendship quotes.
    Keep up the good work and keep posting :)

  3. comment number 3 by: Itsme

    Some of these are very trite and trivial and some are very insightful. Ultimately frienship is one of the highest valued things in life. Only family and religion should come higher.

    I’ve done a lot for my friends and they’ve done a lot for me in my life. I gave up the opportunity to be with a great woman because of a friend. And I’m loyal to my friends to the end.

  4. comment number 4 by: shannon

    you should put,

    friendship is like a rollercoaster, there are funny times and sad times, you have ups and downs, and on occasion, you pee your pants

  5. comment number 5 by: xXEvilMidgetXx

    Number 14-The limo one was Oprah Winfrey.

    Nice collection tho.=]

  6. comment number 6 by: vicky

    Friendship is like thighs, they are always sticking together.

    FTW :L

  7. comment number 7 by: im coooll

    You should but…

    crap sometimes seperates them…
    but they always come back together(:

  8. comment number 8 by: xXDianeDisasterXx

    friends will ask you why you are crying, but best friends already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry. =]

  9. comment number 9 by: melissa

    u should put:

    a stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart; but best friends only poke each other with straws =]

  10. comment number 10 by: monkey

    here is one:

    a friend will bail u out of jail,
    but a BESTFRIEND will be the one next to u saying..”that was totally awsome!”

  11. comment number 11 by: sharon

    what is a friend? a friend is a single soul dwelling in two bodies…
    i love this quote! it has so much of meaning and worth…;)
    mwah G!!! that one was for u!

  12. comment number 12 by: Sarah

    Friendship is like a bra close to the heart and, always there for support.

  13. comment number 13 by: yasmin

    best friend r never apart maybiii in distance bt not in heart :)

  14. comment number 14 by: taylor

    i liked the one by jim hayes

  15. comment number 15 by: Balyiegh

    [END] might be at the [end] of our fri[end].. but our friendship will always last a lifetime.

  16. comment number 16 by: yasmin

    I Luv Em’

    They R So Cute I Send Sum To My Friends :)

    I Lyked The One Dat Said

    “[END] Might Be At The [End] Of Our Fri[End] ..But Our FriendShip Will Always Last A LifeTime

  17. comment number 17 by: Crystal

    that was tyte dawg!!

  18. comment number 18 by: Monkey

    wa! funny!
    “Friends are like wedgies.
    They’re intimately close.
    They know your inner self.
    And it feels great when you pick out a good one!”

  19. comment number 19 by: yasmin

    Love is blind. Friendship tries not to notice.
    LOVEE iS blinD yUP .yUP
    i lOve all My Friends
    Lyk Jennifer.G.BFFL!’
    iI lOvee Vicente So Much Lovee Yuh Babe!’:)

  20. comment number 20 by: SmArTy

    These are really cool quotes of best friends!**
    Friendship is TRue

  21. comment number 21 by: Kristi

    My best friend isn’t a bad influence… she’s my partner in crime! :P

  22. comment number 22 by: Alison

    Best Firends are the ones that tell you when you smell like egg benedict

  23. comment number 23 by: Alex Saparks

    I think I’ll keep you as a friend……….you know WAY TO MUCH! (:

  24. comment number 24 by: xoxoily01

    these r great

  25. comment number 25 by: Maria

    A friend will take you to walmart to buy a pregnancy test but a best friend will stand out side the bathroom door screaming “Name it after me!”.

  26. comment number 26 by: miha :]

    friendship is like peeing in your pants; everyone can see it but only you can feel it

  27. comment number 27 by: sofia enriquez

    a friend is like peanut butter and jelly they stick together forever!!

  28. comment number 28 by: anonim

    a lot of these ones i already knew.. you need new ones…

  29. comment number 29 by: alyssa

    i love gabby kavenagh, and kelly bulmer. there the best friends in the whole world. :) i like the but cheek one (y) hehe. x

  30. comment number 30 by: alicia

    i love u coz u dont make the consewuences seem detrimental when i screw up so bad :P

  31. comment number 31 by: annonamus

    33 is funny :) :D

  32. comment number 32 by: mercedes

    wow this is some funny stuff. check out #9. hahaha. %);] ;} *_* :)

  33. comment number 33 by: Bobby Abbitt

    I love them but the first one isn’t so good then the rest!!!!!!!!!!!!1

  34. comment number 34 by: amanda skinner

    i love my crazy friends cuz were the kind of people that laugh at a joke 3 times…..once when its told…..twice when someone explains it to us…..and 10 minutes later when we actually get it lol i love you carlie, becca, mimi, jesse, drew, nathan, allan, lisa, kelly, miranda, kayla, zak, jenna, blake,sasha, amber, joey, raymond, izzy, shelbie, rikki, tina, christi, lilly, lydia, holly, jordan, curtis, mikeee, john, tanhaya, killian, chucky, tommyjay, shandock, felisha, whitney, josie, brittany, cameron, shanda, carter, mary, symantha, maely, kierstan, kirsty, stefka, mariah, farrah, james, savvy, eric, jacob, johnathan, sean, sammy, robert, justin, mathew, jake, dean, taylor, kelsey, sam, destiny, raven, and colleen………….i wuv all yas no matter how crazy ya’ll are and no matter how much we fight and no matter what comes in the future and i will always be there 4 all of you guys and always remember that..(: ~love amanda/mandy~

  35. comment number 35 by: amanda skinner

    i love all my friends with all my butt….i would say heart but my butt is bigger and we all know it lol (:(:(:

    anyone that disses my friends can suck it lol cuz i love them and that’s all that matters

  36. comment number 36 by: savreen


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